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Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
It`s a beautiful day. I think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit
To the untrained eye, I`m quite handsome.
The worst thing about finding out Santa isn`t real is that you realise it was your parents who were to blame for all the terrible presents
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
If I ever go missing and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at any gyms.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.