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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I`ve considered changing career paths and becoming a demolitions expert, but then I hear the education may cost me an arm and a leg.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."