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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window