Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
When I try to fold fitted sheets it looks like I’m in an infomercial that’s exaggerating how difficult it is to fold fitted sheets.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
I`ve been holding my stomach in for 3 years now so don`t talk to me about dedication!
I don`t quite get women who have like 15 bridesmaids. I don`t even like 15 people altogether in my life.
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!