Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he f*cked off.
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.