Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, late at night in the market..i switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
"The more the merrier!" usually means "oh, you overheard us making those plans, huh?"
Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don`t want to touch it any more than you do.
Hi can you fill this prescription please? Sir this is just a post-it note with `give me the good stuff` written on it.
Damn…I’m having an out of money experience.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook