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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.