Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
I think that a lot of conflict that happened in the Wild West could`ve been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.