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If zombies ever do attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership.
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
He was like, `We`re all slowly dying` So I was like, `WRONG` and I threw him in front of a moving bus.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
When asked `What would you bring with you to a deserted island`, how come no one ever replies, `A boat.`?
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
I only have one word for women who look at me like I’m some kind of sex object ... Hi.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: