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I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
´s status message is better than yours
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
I dont understand these pregnancy test things, so I took another one just to be sure. Just as I thought, its negitive, we`re not pregnant! Now how am I going to tell my wife she is just fat.
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
status uploading