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I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.