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AA meetings would be better if AA stood for Alcohol Afterwards
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
According to Facebook, some people I don`t remember are grilling this weekend.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
Ladies, life is short. So buy the shoes!
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
You`re single? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. Yea me too.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
I always win at chess ... by hitting my opponent with a brick.
You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you’ll see a wedding ring.