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I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
"Trust me, you can dance." -Vodka
So, all theses years I thought it was the dyer making my shirts not fit. now I`m pretty sure it the refrigerator.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
I’ve never had angry sex. I’m always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening.
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
If it`s really the thought that counts, we`re ALL screwed. LOL ;)
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
I used to eat natural food, until I heard people were dying of natural causes
Good news: I learned how to build a fire. Bad news: I need a new toaster oven.
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.