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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
I don’t like being told what to do…unless I’m naked.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
I don`t understand why you guys complain about never being able to finish a tube of chapstick, it usually only takes me 2 or 3 bites.
All of my selfies are just still shots from surveillance footage.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car