Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
I dated this musician who used to play songs for me over the phone. Then I realized he was just putting me on hold.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.