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Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
When my husband gives me shit for taking too long to get ready, I remind him that you never know when you`ll meet the man of your dreams.
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
Girl:How do u feel? Boy:With your hands
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.