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Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
Caterpillars have the ideal life. They eat a lot and then sleep for a while and wake up beautiful.
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
That must have been a heck of a party judging by the police reports.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Hate cleaning my floors...how fast would I go to hell if I got a blind roommate and replaced his cane with a swiffer?
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
There`s no WE in pizza.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.