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Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
I got the girl to hysterically laugh today just by asking her out for a date.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
If you`ve ever wondered which of your friends are really amazing, you`re in luck today. :)
I don`t drink to forget my problems. I drink because I survived them!
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.