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Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
Studies show that people who want tribal tattoos are directly related to living under a rock
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.