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Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
Oh you better not pout. You better not cry. You better not shout I`m telling you why. Nobody gives a f*ck.
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`