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From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch.
Does this green St Patrick`s Day beer count as a vegetable.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
18 is TOO young to get married! You can`t even buy booze at 18! If you can`t buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Patience Is When Playing TETRIS And U Let Those Bricks Fall On Their Own Without Speeding Them Down
is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.