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my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.