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Don`t let the door hit you on the way out ... Hell, who am I kidding, I hope it hits you and knocks you down the f*cking stairs.
Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.