Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Currently helping my son look for his chocolate that I ate last night.
I think eating is my kind of sport.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.
Can`t they just make a "Poke infinity" button?
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.