Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can`t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that`s kind of the same thing.
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
Once again, I`m a distant runner-up for TIME magazine`s `Person Of The Year`. I`m beginning to think it`s rigged...
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? Iām always ready for bed
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me.
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?