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Much to my daughters horror, I just sang along to Ace of Base`s “The Sign” at full volume in a van full of her friends. Being a dad is fun!
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
If your wife says "what would you do without me?" "Live happily ever after" is NOT the correct answer.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her