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It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
Pro tip: The kids run around a little longer if you forget to hide the eggs
Forecast for the weekend... mild alcoholism, with a 70% chance of poor decisions and impaired judgement. Increasing chance of regret and hangover for Sunday.
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
You say you want to bring me back to reality. You’re assuming I’ve been there before.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once, and I nearly killed some guy on a bike.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.