Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
How come there`s never enough dirt to refill the hole even after you`ve put the body in? Asking for a friend
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
When people tell me that I’ve changed, I want to shake them and tell them: “And so should you!”
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
I do this thing called "Whatever The F*ck I Want".
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
awesome collection!