Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
and alcohol are now friends.
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.