Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
Stretch marks? You mean sick a$$ lightning tattoos.
I`ve been wondering, If poison goes out of date and expires, does it become more or less deadly?
Marriage. Because your sh!tty day doesn`t have to end at work.
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Every-time I walk over a sewer grate I look down into it hoping to catch a glimpse of a Ninja Turtle
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
As a kid, I used to be afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I’m terrified of the electricity bill.