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So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don`t taste any different.
My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
Flu (noun) - The only time when having used tissues laying next to your bed is socially acceptable.
Hey micky you`re so fine, you`re so fine you blow my mind hey micky! hey micky! Admit it, you didnt read it, you sang it
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.