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I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Some people, even in photos, just look like they smell horrible.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.