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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
I believe in equality. If we have five days of work, then we should have five day weekends as well.
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
I was enjoying our conversation, but then I stopped talking and the whole thing got really boring.
Ya know once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it´s hard to get it back in.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
Don`t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain`t.
Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
Someday, the time I waste deciding what to watch on Netflix will be shorter than the actual time watching it
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.