Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why would I ever pay to go to a NASCAR event when I could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free?
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before I go to bed?
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
If I ask my dad to take a picture of me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling "It`s the button on the left!"
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
A man is as faithful as his options
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.