Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
If it wasn’t for profanity, I wouldn’t be a pro at anything.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
My mom just sent me a friend request on Facebook! Finally I can use that "I`m not your friend I`m your mother" speech to my advantage.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.