Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
I’m alone in my car. Counting it as a vacation.
I am not as think as you drunk I am
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!