Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.