Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Stay out of the heat & stay hydrated." Thank you news-anchor. It`s my first summer.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for stupid people.
How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
I have no idea how I use to get around in the dark before I had a cell phone.
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them