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I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
Nothing screams "I don`t care about being on time for work" like hopping on Facebook first thing in the morning.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
life is short play naked
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!