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You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
TEIAM - problem solved
The best part about having an old VW is driving down the road and watching people punch the sh!t out of each other.
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
Facebook: Making stalking people much more convenient since 2004.
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.