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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.