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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
A birth control pill a day keeps the mini-van away.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
The guy who invented, "Take Your Child To Work Day," probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on his way to work..
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
Honestly, I have no idea what I would even do with 5 hours of energy.
I`ve been around the block a few times.....but only because I was too drunk to find my house.
Apparently my "Please STFU" face bears a strong resemblance to my "Oh, Please Keep Talking" face.