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Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
Superman wears his underwear outside his pants and he`s a "hero". But I do, and I`m "weird", "creepy" and "never invited over again."
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?