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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
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I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I`m afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
I`ve spent the past four years looking for my ex-wife`s killer, but no one will do it.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.