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Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
if you hold a dinner fork really close to your eyes, you can pretend that they`re in jail
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
On a scale of 1 to "Me".. how smart are you?
If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
24 hours in a day.. 24 beers in a case.. coincidence?
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....