Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
I`ll decide whether it`s a compliment or sexual harassment.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
This town is about as exciting as watching an M&M melt in the sun.
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
Our neighbor said he wouldn`t mind me stealing their newspaper if I would at least put a robe on first.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)