Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
It was awkward when she said, "And yet your feet are so big."
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Why is it called when animals attack? It should be called when retarded people go near dangerous animals.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
So what if I`m single now ... I mean it can`t be that hard to boil toast, can it?
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
Alcohol-The best night time: slurring, headache, dehydration, drink spilling, charm killing, so you think you can dance medicine.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don`t have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won`t look weird.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!