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Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
Every pizza is a personal pizza, if you try hard and believe in yourself.
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
More people should be at a loss for words.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.