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BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
Mary, mary quit contrary, watched their garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now they`s doing three to five.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I can`t tell if I`m really nice but secretly an a$$hole or an a$$hole but secretly really nice.
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.