Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.