Daily Silly Status

We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.

I`ve spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she`s a woodpecker.

How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.

Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!

’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)

Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside

I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!

The guest of honour was a bit subdued. The Keyboardist was playing too softly for my liking. But it was a good turnout, lots of food and laughter. But break out into one choreographed `Thriller` dance routine and the crowd goes all apesh!t and tosses you out of the funeral home.

Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you’ll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.

I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.

I self medicate, therefore you live.

is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?

You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.

I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude

Despite its name, Gatorade is pretty much fatal to alligators. I’m not allowed to volunteer at the zoo anymore.