Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
Having a contest with my couch and my washing machine to see who has more money. So far I`m in 3rd.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.