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Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
In the 60`s we took LSD to make the world look wierd. Now the world is weird and we take Prozac to make it look normal.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.