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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone. That`s like if my bed was named iSex.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
I`ve heard that men that are married live longer, but i`ve also heard that men that have sex live longer. Anybody know which one of them is true?
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
I am so clever sometimes I don`t even understand what I`m saying.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I`m not feeling myself today..... Perhaps I should feel someone else.
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.