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Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
That awkward moment when you buy a pack of condoms and your wife ask. what you gonna do with those?
The only thing actually impossible in life is taking a picture for a group of women and having ALL of them like it.
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
It`s so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
My boss was all, "Do you know why I called you to the office, " and I was like, "I dunno is there a hidden security camera in the bathroom."
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.